Three horses and a donkey move throughout a steel-covered arena while sixty-plus people watch.
“What did you see?” asks one of the instructors.
“The mini was sexually acting out.”
“The bay was the identified patient, and the others formed his dysfunctional family.”
“The gray was the alpha in the herd.”
“No, what did you see?” he patiently repeated.
Thus began my “unlearning” at Part I EAGALA training in Marion, North Carolina.
Our mission was to learn the fundamentals of equine-assisted psychotherapy. The participants were a mix of mental health professionals and experienced horsewomen and men.
We had to leave what we knew at the door.
We learned that the horses we watched were big or little, brown or white. They moved closer or further away from each other. Their tails moved in a back and forth motion. One put his nose close to the ground. One put his ears back.
Clean language. That’s what EAGALA calls it. Clean language is about letting go of assumptions, projections, interpretations, and opinions. It’s about compacting observations to the simplest, purest form possible.
By using clean language and removing your own “stuff” from the session, you allow clients to create their narratives, with horses as key players.
Our co-facilitator, Mark, offered this firsthand example:
A family of three came for their initial session. They walked into the arena with their bodies tight and heads held high; the horses stiffened accordingly. The little donkey walked over to the father, turned its back to him, and defecated on his shoes. The father had no reaction, nor did his wife and daughter.
In the second session, the same thing happened: the donkey quickly went to the father and relieved itself on his feet. Again, the family members were non-reactive.
The third session brought a repeat performance. Mark had never seen this donkey defecate on anyone’s feet, much less three times. This was a pattern, which he noted aloud to the family: “The donkey has crapped three times on Dad’s feet, but no one has said anything about it.”
“That’s how it goes,” the daughter responded. “My mother doesn’t say anything, even though she knows what my father is doing to me.”
And that’s how the incest surfaced.
My next post will describe group role-playing and a donkey who publicly expressed my feelings.